I don’t know if I was born this way, or I became gay later on. All I know is that when I was growing up, no one told me it was okay; my mama never told me I was born a superstar. It felt kind of strange the first time I heard about homosexuality. I remember being nine or ten and my mom was telling me how it was  acceptable for two men to live together in France (she had lived there for a while in the late 70s). Of course she was not amused by the concept; she only told me that to foster the machismo of her only son. Years had gone by, and now her son is subjected to the scrutiny and rejection of this male-dominant society.

I consider myself happy. I have a job, good friends, an amazing boyfriend, and most importantly I love myself. I am not completely out yet; there are certainly people from my entourage who know but my parents still don’t. But soon enough, all their images of me getting married and having kids will be shattered. Our society, families, parents, and intolerant friends should feel ashamed of themselves. Subjecting individuals to so much stress, fear, anxiety and pressure is a crime! Homophobia is a crime! It affects us one way or another; some prefer to play straight, lead a secret life, while others are too scared to mingle with the community; they prefer to stay apart, to suffer silently, and sometimes die silently!

Although I totally accept myself, sometimes homophobia gets to me; it makes me crawl back into the safety of my closet where I don’t have to face the looks, sarcastic smiles, or inappropriate whispers. But I am strong; I always snap back into the light where I truly belong, where we should all belong, and I know deep down that better things are yet to come. I am on the right track.

I have no fear!

Gaytheist